Recently, I attended a presentation by Neil Pasricha, a New York Times best-selling author on happiness. He said the idea that we work hard, are successful and then we will be happy is backward. Rather, he recommends that we find what we love, that will cause us to want to work hard, and then we will be successful. Affluent families are often afraid to talk about the transition of wealth for fear of derailing their kids’ motivation. Rather than talk about the numbers, we reco

The Roman philosopher Seneca is credited with saying, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” In other words, luck favors the prepared. Many family leaders believe a strong estate plan will prepare their next generation and, in essence, do the talking for them. Yet the generational wealth that changes the world comes from prepared heirs, not from great estate plans. Confusing those two domains can cause mischief in family unity. Give your kids the gift of p

The holidays are here and so are those polarizing dinner table topics such as vaccines, politics, and parenting. Here are 5 hot tips to help you through the holiday season: 1. Be curious, not critical 2. Choose your relationship over being right 3. Ask more questions for understanding instead of convincing 4. Listen without reloading your next comment 5. Take a belly breath and let your shoulders drop Wishing everyone a holiday season blessed with grace, goodwi

The Cavanaugh family decided that any family member having a “significant” decision-making financial responsibility role within the family enterprise was required to have at least an undergraduate degree and five years of “progressively responsible experience” working in a corporation not controlled by the family. The defined “significant” as “any role capable of obligating more than 1 percent of the family’s liquid assets during the calendar year”. Establish clear roles duri

Our research shows transitions occur more smoothly when: 1. Heirs are better prepared 2. Relationships among family members are more trust-based and affable 3. Families are proactive in wealth planning and designing values Prepared heirs mean they understand their role of being a good beneficiary. It means they are able to navigate their relationships well, have a strong sense of purpose, and see how they can be a contribution to the family resources. Trust-based rel

Hannah arrived at the long-awaited family meeting to talk about the family wealth feeling anxious. She knew they were wealthy, having googled her parent's salary, the cost of their homes, and the types of vacations they took. Once the presentation was over Hannah found herself wondering ”Whose money is this?” The complex terminology suggested it belonged to her “There is an irrevocable trust in your name” however when she asked questions about how and when she could access th

A next-generation family member said to me “I find it hard to get together with my family to talk about anything meaningful. We end up making the same old comments to each other, usually with some kind of hurtful banter thrown in. There are definitely two camps, mom’s camp, and dad’s camp - and their opinions never seem to change.” He wanted to know how the family could have a reasonable conversation without reverting to old patterns with each other. In another example, a fam

Cameron’s mother died unexpectedly when Cameron was 25 years of age. This was the first time Cameron met his mother’s financial and legal advisors. Still, in shock from his mother’s death, he felt very vulnerable and intimidated. He grasped little of what he was being told. To avoid being thought of as ignorant he avoided asking any questions and left as soon as he could. When he shared his experience with his college friends, one of them advised Cameron to transfer his wealt

by Amy Castoro Wealth can complicate relationships and magnify levels of trust positively or negatively. A patriarch had a history of going back on his word. He had a history of not making it to his children’s games and performances as well as not being home when he said he would. He was running a large enterprise, with six VPs reporting to him. His children loved him but believed the business and money came first, which did not help their self-esteem. He felt he was building

Joel Kimmel and I were honored to participate in a webinar hosted by The Carter Center on "Preparing Your Heirs". Click this link to take a listen. If your team or your clients are asking "Will the wealth unify or divide my family?", we can help. Please contact us to learn more. https://legacycircle.cartercenter.org/legacy-webinars #wealthtransfer #heirs #succession #legacyplanning #familybusiness #familyoffice #trustsandestates #familygovernance #willsandtrusts #uhnw #hnw #

What is the difference between successful and unsuccessful transition planning? Successful transitions mean the family remains intact and in control of their assets. Successful transitions include: 1. Total family involvement (including spouses and children over the age of 16) 2. A process that integrates what the family members learn so they can co-design their future together 3. A structure that supports learning skills for trust and communication, accountability, openness,

Take this quiz. If you score less than 4 “yes” answers, a successful transfer of wealth is unlikely. Contact us to discuss your results or any questions this may have provoked. 1. Does your family have a mission statement to define the purpose of your wealth? 2. Does the entire family participate in important decisions such as defining a mission for your wealth? 3. Do all heirs have the option of participating in the management of the family assets? 4. Do heirs understand the

A successful business owner was becoming forgetful, but he wouldn’t admit it. He was making uncharacteristic decisions and becoming paranoid. Family conversations were contentious, and conflicting approaches were emerging. His wife knew little about their financials or how he wanted the estate to impact the family. Ultimately the wife had to figure out how to “keep the peace” while unprepared for her children's reactions. They did not trust her decisions because of her self-p

A patriarch wanted to leave his wealth to his three daughters; however, he wanted to be hands-off and did not care how they utilized the wealth. All he wanted was for his daughters to be “able to manage their portfolio.” This was a shock to the family since dad controlled the wealth, and no one ever dared to ask about it. His daughters were overwhelmed and paralyzed by the responsibility of managing the family wealth. In a family meeting, we asked the father to share his idea

Talking to the kids about the family money is often a conversation that gets “kicked down the road” until it is too late. Left unaddressed, these “pending conversations” result in increasing dissonance in family relationships. Get the conversations started with your next generation by exploring possibilities as a way to hear their perspective and generate ideas you may not have considered. Questions like “What do you see is the purpose of our family wealth and how could it po

By Joel Kimmel, Senior Lead Family Consultant Through my work with The Williams Group for over 20 years, I found the biggest difference in building family trust is often the little questions. A son took over the family business and committed to supporting his sister and his father’s dream of growing the business. We were brought in to establish a unified vision that would allow the siblings to experience success. We noticed the sister was getting increasingly frustrated as he

Speaking honestly about draft picks for the NFL is one thing. Speaking honestly about inheritance is another thing entirely. Family communication styles are developed over time and passed down through generations. One pattern we see frequently is cordial hypocrisy. This is characterized by ugly thoughts behind the well-rehearsed warm smile. Most people can sense this dichotomy but have only unfulfilling practices to cope with it. Unspoken expectations or fear of judgment squa

Great article by Betsy Morris for The Wall Street Journal. In a family business, knowing when to step aside rather than down makes the difference between a successful transition and one that fails. Power and control are often at the center of generational tension. We suggest "letting them under the tent flap," as Steinbrenner used to say as soon as possible to give them runway to learn how you think. A next-gen family member came to us when their father said he was finally re

Alignment vs. agreement. Merging expectations inherent in generational wealth can be tricky if an agreement is the only option. Conflict often happens when family members argue for agreement and one person has to capitulate or “lose” resulting in hurt feelings and/or resentment. Instead, we suggest having conversations to reach alignment. In other words, search for a common goal, and accept there may be more than one way to get there. In a recent family meeting, a son and dau

Amy Castoro is quoted in this article from the Institute for Preparing Heirs on how important it is for advisors to refer families to skilled meeting facilitators or family coaches when unresolved issues among family members threaten to derail the family’s ability to move forward as a cohesive family unit, putting a successful wealth transfer at risk. #wealthtransfer #succession #heirs #trustsandestates #estateplanning #legacyplanning #uhnw #hnw #familybusiness #familyoffice