Serve up some “Emergent Listening” this Thanksgiving and see your connection with your loved ones deepen. Emergent listening is not the same as active listening. Active listening shows engagement by nodding your head or repeating what was said. Emergent listening shifts your focus to listen for their concerns, passions, and energy. Most often, we are “reloading while listening” to add to the conversation in some way. Instead, we suggest listening to what truly matters to the other person and placing the focus on them. The result will deepen trust, connection, and relationship. Questions such as “Tell me more,” or “What is important to you about this?” or “If this were to fall into place for you, what would that look like?” or my favorite, “Do you want advice or would you like me just to listen?” are great ways to have them experience your care and be seen. To speak is to transmit, but to truly listen builds the deepest bonds. It is a skill that requires practice to refocus your attention back on the speaker. So this Thanksgiving, practice emergent listening and let others experience your care.
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