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Recently, I attended a presentation by Neil Pasricha, a New York Times best-selling author on happiness. He said the idea that we work hard, are successful and then we will be happy is backward. Rather, he recommends that we find what we love, that will cause us to want to work hard, and then we will be successful.

Affluent families are often afraid to talk about the transition of wealth for fear of derailing their kids’ motivation. Rather than talk about the numbers, we recommend asking them a powerful yet simple question: “What do you care about?” This is a useful question, not just for the next generation trying to find their place inside the wealth, but also for the wealth creators themselves, who are looking to apply their wealth in the most meaningful way.

Notice when your heart fills with joy. Is it when you are in nature? When you are providing a service for someone? When talking to a child? Let that be your guide. As Rumi says, “Let yourself be silently pulled in the direction of your heart; it will not lead you astray.”